Personal Development and Overcoming Fears: Or, How I Stopped Freaking Out (Mostly)

Let’s talk about personal development and overcoming fears. Because nothing says “I’m evolving as a person” like sweating through your shirt while trying not to freak out over the thing that terrifies you. The idea of self-development sounds great in theory: “Face your fears, grow as a person, live your best life!” In practice, it’s more like, “Confront your fears and try not to have a complete fucking meltdown.”

Overcoming fears generally involves thinking about overcoming them from a safe distance—like pretending you’re totally cool with heights while staring at a zipline and considering a polite but firm "no thanks." So, let’s take a funny but real look at what it’s like to face your fears and what ensues when we push ourselves to grow.

Step 1: Acknowledge You Have Fears (Easy, Right?)

First things first, you already know what you’re scared of. Maybe it’s public speaking, flying, making phone calls (because, let’s be honest, those are terrifying, half the time I let it ring off even when it’s my bestie calling and follow it up with a text saying “sorry I missed your call, what’s up?”), or commitment. Whatever it is, it’s been lurking in the background for ages, just waiting to pop up when you’re trying to live your life in peace. For me, it was public speaking—a true nightmare scenario of standing in front of people and hoping I don’t suddenly forget my own name.

Step 2: Convince Yourself “It’s Not That Bad” (LOL, Sure)

You’ve read all the self-help books, watched the TED Talks, and convinced yourself, “It’s really not that bad.” You think, “I can totally handle this. People speak in public every day and survive. I’m not even that nervous anymore!” Spoiler: you are that nervous. But for the sake of personal growth, we pretend.

Step 3: Make a Grand Plan (Totally Unrealistic, of Course)

Feeling brave, you decide it’s time to confront your fear with a foolproof plan. “I’ll just volunteer to give a presentation at work. I’ll nail it, and my fear of public speaking will be gone forever. Easy.” In your head, you imagine yourself delivering this killer speech, making people laugh, maybe even inspiring someone to make a life-changing decision. You are the epitome of confidence in this imaginary scenario.

Step 4: Reality Sets In (Cue Panic)

Fast forward to the day of the presentation. You’re standing in front of the room, heart pounding, hands shaking, sweat making its grand entrance. So much sweat. Your brain? It’s left the building. That confident, put-together version of yourself? Nowhere to be found. This is when you realise personal development isn't as glamorous as it sounds. It’s messy, awkward, and sometimes feels like a full-on disaster.

Step 5: You Somehow Do the Thing

Despite your inner turmoil, you manage to squeak out a few sentences. They may not be exactly what you rehearsed (or coherent, really), but you did it. You stood up there, didn’t pass out, and got through it. Sure, you may have blanked on a couple of key points and forgot to make that witty joke you planned, but let’s focus on the fact that you survived. Because that’s what growth is all about—getting through the fear, even if it’s not pretty.

Step 6: Reward Yourself Like a Legend

Once the ordeal is over, you deserve a reward. You just faced one of your biggest fears, and that’s no small feat! Whether it’s treating yourself to a takeaway, binge-watching your favourite show, or booking a holiday (because let’s be real, you earned it), make sure to celebrate. Did you handle it perfectly? No. But you did handle it, and that’s the win.

Step 7: Realise the Fear Isn’t Totally Gone (Sorry)

Now, here’s the fun part. Just because you faced your fear doesn’t mean it magically disappears forever. (If only.) The next time you’re asked to speak in public, you might still feel that familiar knot in your stomach. But the difference is, now you know you can get through it. It’s not about becoming fearless—it’s about proving to yourself that you’re braver than you thought. Even if your hands shake the whole way through.

Personal development and overcoming fears is like trying to cook a fancy meal from scratch when you’re used to takeaways—it’s stressful, messy, and sometimes you wonder why you’re even bothering. But every now and then, you surprise yourself and actually pull it off. It’s not about being fearless or perfect; it’s about progress—however clumsy it may be.

So, whatever your fear is, know this: facing it might be awkward, you might sweat, and you might panic, but that’s okay. Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s how you expand your comfort zone and change your belief of what you’re capable of. I used to be terrified of public speaking… and now? Now I’m less terrified, I still get nervous but I’m also full of excitement, have fun with it and I don’t give a fuck if I make a mistake, I just laugh it off.

Personal development is all about stepping up, showing up, and realising that you’re stronger than the thing that scares you—even if you need a takeaway and a lie-down after.